boom.
boom.
So tonight at work my cook’s boyfriend came in and he had his friend Travis with him and they were sitting at a table and every time I looked up he was looking at me and my cook went over to talk to him and came back and was like “his friend thinks you’re cute” I was like “I figured, he keeps staring.” she was like yea he likes your butt and so later this Marine guy left and me and the catering manager were talking about how he was cute and I was like “tattoos and muscles, sold!” jokingly and later my cook was giving me a ride home and she was like Travis just texted me and said he doesn’t have tattoos but he’ll flex for ya.
I laughed so hard
Meanwhile, in Minnesota.
Agent Coulson has taught me that if you deny a character death completely, that character will come back.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Milk is not natural.
Angryfuckingvegan comes the conclusion that cows are not real and milk does not actually exist
i’m imagining him alone in his room with all the lights off, eyes wide open, rocking back and forth on his bed muttering this to himself
(Source: littleprincessvegan)
I SERVED A KID DRESSED AS IRON MAN TODAY AND I ASKED HIM WHAT HIS NAME WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS TONY AND HIS MUM SHOOK HER HEAD AND WAS LIKE NO HIS NAME IS JESSE AND I LOOKED BACK AT THE KID TO GIVE HIM HIS CHANGE AND SAID ‘HAVE A NICE DAY MR STARK’ AND HE GOT SO EXCITED AND RAN OFF WITH HIS SISTER IT WAS GREAT
One time in ninth grade this kid got drunk and was humping a wall and the principal caught him and wrote him up for PDA.
Its scary how similar some fan fics I read were to the last couple of episodes
okay the season finale of new girl was the most perfect thing ever
The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials
okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”
Love him! Lol
(Source: agentspooky)
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
The suppppa cute dresses I found!
Looking for dresses for graduation and I searched “sweetheart retro vintage style dress casual” and I am in love with some of the results.. not even gonna lie a lot of the results